Ugh! A year & three months are sounding longer & longer! I hate this! Why can't I have him now! It's not fair! It's not like I woke up one day & said I didn't want him there.
He was taken away from me. I didn't have a say in the matter.... & it's MY life! & I hate it when other people try to take control of it.
Their always saying,
"You have to learn from your mistakes."
Then let me learn, daym it! So what if it takes me longer. At least I'll be learning on my own.
Isn't that what you wanted me to do? Grow up & take responsibility of my own.
Your always complaining about how I never do anything for myself.
How I'm always crying to you for every little thing.
Then, the one time I actually stand up & try to handle things on my own, you steel back the reigns & take control again. I'm tired of it.
I'm old enough to choose who I want to be with. I'm old enough to decide who I love.
& you think this is going to stop me? Absofuckingluty not.
Sure, for now. But in fifteen months I'm going to be back in his arms.
& you cant say a word about it.
Stop trying to fix everything. I'm not you, I wont let things get that bad. I watched what you went through. I heard your pain. Do you really think Id be stupid enough to let myself go through all that heartache after watching you? I'm going to be smarter. I'm going to be that tough little girl that you brought me up to be.
I'm a big girl now mom. & my own person.
Please..... stop treating me like I'm the 17 flashback of you.
I promise you... I'll be okay. & with out you. I'm not saying I'll never need you again.
I'm just saying.... it's my heart that's broken. So let ME be the one to fix it.
Love,
Your [Not So Little] Girl <3
He was taken away from me. I didn't have a say in the matter.... & it's MY life! & I hate it when other people try to take control of it.
Their always saying,
"You have to learn from your mistakes."
Then let me learn, daym it! So what if it takes me longer. At least I'll be learning on my own.
Isn't that what you wanted me to do? Grow up & take responsibility of my own.
Your always complaining about how I never do anything for myself.
How I'm always crying to you for every little thing.
Then, the one time I actually stand up & try to handle things on my own, you steel back the reigns & take control again. I'm tired of it.
I'm old enough to choose who I want to be with. I'm old enough to decide who I love.
& you think this is going to stop me? Absofuckingluty not.
Sure, for now. But in fifteen months I'm going to be back in his arms.
& you cant say a word about it.
Stop trying to fix everything. I'm not you, I wont let things get that bad. I watched what you went through. I heard your pain. Do you really think Id be stupid enough to let myself go through all that heartache after watching you? I'm going to be smarter. I'm going to be that tough little girl that you brought me up to be.
I'm a big girl now mom. & my own person.
Please..... stop treating me like I'm the 17 flashback of you.
I promise you... I'll be okay. & with out you. I'm not saying I'll never need you again.
I'm just saying.... it's my heart that's broken. So let ME be the one to fix it.
Love,
Your [Not So Little] Girl <3
